Every year in October our school invites mothers to join us in class for the morning. As part of this tradition my class and in fact all the third graders write mommilies. Mommilies are things that mom always says. The students brainstorm for homework and then practice writing quotes in class. I always enjoy this activity. Lots of common sayings and idioms are listed, along with phrases unique to individual families. My own two children did this activity in third grade. Students pick their favorites from their lists, create final drafts and then a bulletin board is created in the hall outside our classroom.
The reaction of the moms is always mixed. Most laugh, some shake their heads, some disagree with their kids, while others try to explain. This activity is funny and sweet.
This year on the day I sent the brainstorming home I also posted a request on facebook for friends to share either mommilies they themselves use or mommilies their moms said. I listed several of my own personal mommilies. Things that my kids used when they had this assignment. Here are a few:
"I can only do 50 things at once and that is the 51st!"
"I don't really like you at the moment either."
"What is your father doing?"
"Am I embarrassing you? I don't mean to embarrass you."
A few I remember from my mom, mostly idioms, include:
"If wishes were fishes we'd all live in the sea."
"Mind your P's and Q's."
"Money doesn't grow on trees."
Here are the ones sent to me on facebook:
"No blood, no band-aid!" (from my mom.... Mine is "hurry scurry")
"There's no crying in ______" whatever we may be doing . .
"You don't HAVE to go to school, you GET to."
"You can want all you choose, but you still....(have to, can't etc.)"
"Oh, I'm sorry I wasn't asking if you wanted to, I'm TELLING you. . .!"
Once when Andrew was little and was driving me nuts asking for something and "why can't I do/have it? Huh, why, huh, why?" I got exasperated and said,"Because I'm a mean, horrible mother who must hate her children." He looked shocked and started to tell me how great I was instead of continuing the begging. That became our "mommily". Anytime we ... Read More didn't have time or patience to argue about something, it was, "because I'm a mean, horrible mother who hates her children" and I would get a hug or rolled eyes instead of fights.
And finally, some from my class this year:
"No MORE QUESTIONS!"
"Nobody can make you do anything."
"I'm leaving now, bye."
"Love others like I love you."
"Use your brain."
"Do you need love?"
"Turn off the lights. I don't own the power company."
"I'm not your slave/waitress." (There were multiple versions of this.)
"Only boring people get bored."
"You can wreck it for yourself, but you can't wreck it for all of us."
"Sing at the table, whistle in bed, along comes the chopper and chops off your head." (I just write them like I see them.)
"Use your OWN brain."
"NO! Do you have enough beans?"
"No bleeding, no broken, you're fine."
"How ya doing pickle?"
"If you don't do it your name is mud."
"The four B's: Bath, brush, books, bed."
"In you go Indigo."
"Hard is good."
"You know the drill."
"Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now!"
Mommilies just make me ponder and think. Many moms in my class seem to have the same reaction. What do I say when I'm on autopilot? What do I tell them so often that they don't even listen anymore? Do I sound just like my mother?
Friday, October 30, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Halloween, Who Thought of this Holiday
Halloween is my least favorite holiday. Always has been. I hate haunted houses; I hated them as a kid and still hate them today. I don't like being scared or scaring people. I refuse to watch scary movies. As a tween and teenager I would hide under my blankets, plug my ears and force myself to be the first person sleep. My hope was no one would notice how much I was really scared. I didn't find it romantic to go to horror films on dates. I avoided those by enjoying kick-butt action films and talking my dates into seeing almost anything, but horror flicks. Trick-or-treating was okay, but I was never a die hard. The amount of walking and dealing with strangers never seemed to equal the reward of candy.
Then comes that year, somewhere between when you turn 12 and 14. That year when it seems that every door you knock on you hear, "Aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating?"
Halloween is all down hill from there. You're now officially a candy passer outer. You're stuck at home usually answer the door and giving candy away. If it's a year when Halloween isn't on a school night, you hope you get invited to a party. However, if you're not invited anywhere door duty is event more depressing and embarrassing.
As a parent Halloween means helping kids afford, find, create or sew a costume. It means hyper kids, too much candy and wandering the neighborhood in the cold. Sometimes you just want to say, "Can I buy you a bag of candy?"
As a teacher it means hyper kids, little can be accomplished the day of Halloween in a classroom. There are endless distractions: who's wearing what costume, where everyone is trick-or-treating, and the piles of treats sent to class so we can celebrate. The day after is full of over sugared, under rested, cranky, moody students. Around Halloween is not optimal learning time.
Occasionally dressing up intrigues my creative side a little. However, I rarely have somewhere to wear a costume or the time to create something for myself. Halloween is one holiday that I don't have the spirit for and I can wait until it's over.
Then comes that year, somewhere between when you turn 12 and 14. That year when it seems that every door you knock on you hear, "Aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating?"
Halloween is all down hill from there. You're now officially a candy passer outer. You're stuck at home usually answer the door and giving candy away. If it's a year when Halloween isn't on a school night, you hope you get invited to a party. However, if you're not invited anywhere door duty is event more depressing and embarrassing.
As a parent Halloween means helping kids afford, find, create or sew a costume. It means hyper kids, too much candy and wandering the neighborhood in the cold. Sometimes you just want to say, "Can I buy you a bag of candy?"
As a teacher it means hyper kids, little can be accomplished the day of Halloween in a classroom. There are endless distractions: who's wearing what costume, where everyone is trick-or-treating, and the piles of treats sent to class so we can celebrate. The day after is full of over sugared, under rested, cranky, moody students. Around Halloween is not optimal learning time.
Occasionally dressing up intrigues my creative side a little. However, I rarely have somewhere to wear a costume or the time to create something for myself. Halloween is one holiday that I don't have the spirit for and I can wait until it's over.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
25 Things About Me
My sister posted 25 things about herself on her blog Inquisitive Mom http://theinquisitivemom.blogspot.com/2009/10/tidbits-of-me-now-its-your-turn. She asked people to respond here's mine:
1. Mindy already knows lots about me, but I have to sit up for 1/2 an hour after I take my medicine so I'm doing this to distract myself.
2.I am Mindy's oldest sister. I think that our dad being diagnosed with cancer while I was away at my first year of college played havoc on birth order in our family. I've always felt a little out of place since that happened. The next oldest, Merilee, really took over the oldest role at that time. I don't blame her, what do you expect from a group of strong women. However, being away from home when he died has always made me a bit of an outsider.
3. I've often brainstormed a book in my head called, "MY SIDE OF THE STORY: How Four Sisters Dealt with Death and Healing." In this book each of the four girls in our family writes about there experience dealing with dad's cancer and death. I think it would make an interesting book. Four different perspectives of the same powerful event. We're all so opinionated and different.
4. I received my first two rejection letters for my two children's picture books. I'm not upset or surprised, just excited I dared to be rejected and put myself out there.
5. Whether or not I like a tv show all depends on the characters. I love good characters whose lives I can get involved in. I really am a believer in the USA networks motto: Characters Welcome.
6. I like people. I enjoy getting to know people. People talk to me easily. I make friends in the grocery store line.
7. The greatest compliment someone recently gave me was, "When you talk to people it's not about you. You'll talk to everyone. You're not a flirt. You talk to men and women the same. You have lots of guy friends, but it's friendly. You don't talk to people to draw attention to yourself."
8. I do have a lot of male friends. My husband is never jealous though. I'm too trustworthy he says. Sometimes it's a double edged sword. Is it bad to wish sometimes he would get jealous?
9. I wish I had more money, more time and better health so that I could play hockey more often.
10. I also wish I had more money so I could go out with my husband more often. I think we'd see more concerts together.
11. I think I'm a cool mom. I don't fool myself into thinking that my teenagers call me that. Though I think I'm not horrible to them. I think this because I try to participate in life with them.
12. I do love embarrassing my teenagers. Who knew it could be so much fun to be old.
13. I wish radio wasn't struggling so much. I recently discovered a real enjoyment in listening and interacting with radio. I think I'd love to have a talk show.
14. I wish Mike would find a band to play his songs with and get more joy out of his music.
15. I don't want to hurt my family and this next statement will, but my family, especially my husband, hasn't been happier since we let religion go at our house.
16. I still believe in God. I just struggle with organized religion. It is strange sometimes though because so much of my life was connected to religion in the past. Often when I'm thinking, I'll pause and say where did that idea come from, then I'll realize it's from my religious past.
17. I know these comments worry and hurt my mom and my sisters. I've been in their shoes before. That's what bothers me the most.
18. I'm not a very private person. Sometimes this drives my husband crazy. Sometimes it's what he loves about me. I don't really care, it's just me.
18. I love twitter, facebook and blogging. I love talking to people. These just give me more options. I connect way more with my family, due to these devices than I ever did before. I'm a bad sister and daughter otherwise. I never was good at long distance relationships. That's why I never would have waited for a missionary.
19. I love having a unique name. Thank you mom and dad. I hope my kids appreciate their unusual names also.
20. I secretly really, really, really want to go on the Amazing Race. Mostly with my husband, but he wouldn't do it, ever. I don't think I could even bribe him with sex. Anyone else interested?
21. I love being a teacher, most of the time. It was the right career for me.
22. When I was sixteen I used to tell people I wanted eight kids. When I was 34 I knew I was done having kids with just two.
23. When I was 35 I had my third child. There is only so much planning you can do in life.
24. Can I have my 16 year old body (that I thought was fat) back? However, I want my 37 year old mind and experience.
25. I love sports and being active, why don't I do it more often?
1. Mindy already knows lots about me, but I have to sit up for 1/2 an hour after I take my medicine so I'm doing this to distract myself.
2.I am Mindy's oldest sister. I think that our dad being diagnosed with cancer while I was away at my first year of college played havoc on birth order in our family. I've always felt a little out of place since that happened. The next oldest, Merilee, really took over the oldest role at that time. I don't blame her, what do you expect from a group of strong women. However, being away from home when he died has always made me a bit of an outsider.
3. I've often brainstormed a book in my head called, "MY SIDE OF THE STORY: How Four Sisters Dealt with Death and Healing." In this book each of the four girls in our family writes about there experience dealing with dad's cancer and death. I think it would make an interesting book. Four different perspectives of the same powerful event. We're all so opinionated and different.
4. I received my first two rejection letters for my two children's picture books. I'm not upset or surprised, just excited I dared to be rejected and put myself out there.
5. Whether or not I like a tv show all depends on the characters. I love good characters whose lives I can get involved in. I really am a believer in the USA networks motto: Characters Welcome.
6. I like people. I enjoy getting to know people. People talk to me easily. I make friends in the grocery store line.
7. The greatest compliment someone recently gave me was, "When you talk to people it's not about you. You'll talk to everyone. You're not a flirt. You talk to men and women the same. You have lots of guy friends, but it's friendly. You don't talk to people to draw attention to yourself."
8. I do have a lot of male friends. My husband is never jealous though. I'm too trustworthy he says. Sometimes it's a double edged sword. Is it bad to wish sometimes he would get jealous?
9. I wish I had more money, more time and better health so that I could play hockey more often.
10. I also wish I had more money so I could go out with my husband more often. I think we'd see more concerts together.
11. I think I'm a cool mom. I don't fool myself into thinking that my teenagers call me that. Though I think I'm not horrible to them. I think this because I try to participate in life with them.
12. I do love embarrassing my teenagers. Who knew it could be so much fun to be old.
13. I wish radio wasn't struggling so much. I recently discovered a real enjoyment in listening and interacting with radio. I think I'd love to have a talk show.
14. I wish Mike would find a band to play his songs with and get more joy out of his music.
15. I don't want to hurt my family and this next statement will, but my family, especially my husband, hasn't been happier since we let religion go at our house.
16. I still believe in God. I just struggle with organized religion. It is strange sometimes though because so much of my life was connected to religion in the past. Often when I'm thinking, I'll pause and say where did that idea come from, then I'll realize it's from my religious past.
17. I know these comments worry and hurt my mom and my sisters. I've been in their shoes before. That's what bothers me the most.
18. I'm not a very private person. Sometimes this drives my husband crazy. Sometimes it's what he loves about me. I don't really care, it's just me.
18. I love twitter, facebook and blogging. I love talking to people. These just give me more options. I connect way more with my family, due to these devices than I ever did before. I'm a bad sister and daughter otherwise. I never was good at long distance relationships. That's why I never would have waited for a missionary.
19. I love having a unique name. Thank you mom and dad. I hope my kids appreciate their unusual names also.
20. I secretly really, really, really want to go on the Amazing Race. Mostly with my husband, but he wouldn't do it, ever. I don't think I could even bribe him with sex. Anyone else interested?
21. I love being a teacher, most of the time. It was the right career for me.
22. When I was sixteen I used to tell people I wanted eight kids. When I was 34 I knew I was done having kids with just two.
23. When I was 35 I had my third child. There is only so much planning you can do in life.
24. Can I have my 16 year old body (that I thought was fat) back? However, I want my 37 year old mind and experience.
25. I love sports and being active, why don't I do it more often?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Not Quite a Dream Come True
Maybe I'm a worse mother than I thought, but I doubt it. I think many mothers have had a similar dream from time to time. The dream to be sick or injured, not seriously, but just enough so that they can take a break without feeling guilty. A daydream of having someone tell them that life was out of their hands and their was nothing they could do or say about it. Well, this has sort of happened to me for two weeks and I admit it's not really that relaxing or happy.
First of all, I always seem to forget what a control freak I really am. I like to pretend I'm a go with the flow kind of girl and point out that my key ring is a disaster. I can't be a control freak if my keys are not on the ring from smallest to largest or if I still have keys from cars long gone or to things I'm not sure where to find. I'm not an OCD kind of control freak. I'm a control freak in that I like to know what's going on and to have a say in how things are done. I like to make sure things keep moving and make sense.
Second, this is not a year to feel comfortable getting sick and missing work. It's a little irrational, but last year there were changes made at work because of the economy that shocked and surprised me. I don't think anyone feels safe in their jobs. Also, I don't think many people understand this, but it is really hard to plan for a sub. Gathering materials, writing directions for routines, writing lessons plans and directions for several subjects, remembering hints about dealing with different kid's needs or behaviors, it is very draining and time consuming. I can't just cancel appointments, reschedule or find someone to cover my shift.
Lastly, it's beginning to get really lonely. I have a two year old who I wave to from my room where I'm sort of quarantined. I don't want him to get sick so I've stayed away for two weeks. I tell him I love him and I don't want to give him owwies, so I can't snuggle or hold him. I sleep alone, so Mike doesn't get sick and my coughing doesn't keep him up.
This whole situation is really starting to get me down. I'm not so sick that I'm oblivious to the world around me. I haven't had a fever for two days. However, I'm still coughing up a storm, hoping to not pee my pants every time a fit occurs. I get worn out really easily and my head still pounds. I'm healthy enough to finally realize everything I have to do at work when I get back, but sick enough not to be able to do it. I miss my kids, my students at school and playing hockey. I wish I could make myself dream of something else, but the dreams of my sleep aren't actually any better. I keep dreaming about class reunions involving murder mysteries and funerals, playing hockey naked, storming a radio station and yelling at my boss. I think it's time for more cough medicine with codeine.
First of all, I always seem to forget what a control freak I really am. I like to pretend I'm a go with the flow kind of girl and point out that my key ring is a disaster. I can't be a control freak if my keys are not on the ring from smallest to largest or if I still have keys from cars long gone or to things I'm not sure where to find. I'm not an OCD kind of control freak. I'm a control freak in that I like to know what's going on and to have a say in how things are done. I like to make sure things keep moving and make sense.
Second, this is not a year to feel comfortable getting sick and missing work. It's a little irrational, but last year there were changes made at work because of the economy that shocked and surprised me. I don't think anyone feels safe in their jobs. Also, I don't think many people understand this, but it is really hard to plan for a sub. Gathering materials, writing directions for routines, writing lessons plans and directions for several subjects, remembering hints about dealing with different kid's needs or behaviors, it is very draining and time consuming. I can't just cancel appointments, reschedule or find someone to cover my shift.
Lastly, it's beginning to get really lonely. I have a two year old who I wave to from my room where I'm sort of quarantined. I don't want him to get sick so I've stayed away for two weeks. I tell him I love him and I don't want to give him owwies, so I can't snuggle or hold him. I sleep alone, so Mike doesn't get sick and my coughing doesn't keep him up.
This whole situation is really starting to get me down. I'm not so sick that I'm oblivious to the world around me. I haven't had a fever for two days. However, I'm still coughing up a storm, hoping to not pee my pants every time a fit occurs. I get worn out really easily and my head still pounds. I'm healthy enough to finally realize everything I have to do at work when I get back, but sick enough not to be able to do it. I miss my kids, my students at school and playing hockey. I wish I could make myself dream of something else, but the dreams of my sleep aren't actually any better. I keep dreaming about class reunions involving murder mysteries and funerals, playing hockey naked, storming a radio station and yelling at my boss. I think it's time for more cough medicine with codeine.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Ramblings From My Sickbed
Before I begin this blog let me state that I have been sick for about 10 days as of today. Now, I don't tell you this because I want sympathy, though it's much appreciated, I tell you this to let you ponder how many hours of television I have watched. Between naps, drug induced spurts of sleep and some reading, I have tried to distract myself with LOTS of television. I'd read more if I could fix two things. First, if I'd known I was going to get sick I would have brought home more reading material. Second, sometimes my head hurts too much to read. Many an hour has passed with the t.v. on just so I could listen to it, so I didn't feel alone.
Having said that one t.v. show I discovered has started me thinking. It's called, "House Husbands of Hollywood." A bunch of couples in Hollywood, who happen to have the wife as the main bread winner at the moment, agreed to let the cameras of the Reality Channel follow them. One couple includes a former baseball player and a make-up artist, another includes a former Cosby kid and the spin off, "A Different World," I think it was called star. The other couples include actors, lawyers and talk show hosts. They're all mostly engaging, entertaining people to watch. I chose to watch episodes of it over reruns of shows I've seen a million times. I was interested in seeing how this idea of role reversal played out.
I don't feel like I saw anything very surprising. I can't say if that has to do with my age. I feel like I grew up in a generation where I was told girls could do anything and that roles didn't have to be set. Or if it is more of a personality thing. I'm kind of stubborn and don't like to be told how things are supposed to be, I will want to do the opposite. Or if society has really changed enough that it shouldn't be a surprise that people decide what's best for them as a couple and the rest of us don't care. Who knows? The point is it made me think about a discussion I often have at my house and hear about between men and women. Which job is actually harder? Can the two rolls actually be compared? And what really happens when both people work AND supposedly take care of the house?
Whether it is the man or the woman who stays home and their spouse works, it seems the two sides can never see the others' perspective.
I've often thought that it would be more interesting to follow a couple such as my husband and me. Not because I want to be on t.v. (my house would embarrass me too much and I would mortify Mike with my honesty too much), but a couple who do both jobs, work full time and take care of the household chores, routines and needs. Not just any jobs though, I think what makes us so unique is that we do the exact same job everyday. I think somebody should follow around couples with the same full time jobs. This would eliminate some of unknowns of understanding each others' perspectives. When the couple gets home they KNOW first hand what the other person's day was like, no guessing, or sympathizing , just understanding. I think this would be a much more interesting, eye opening series.
Having said that one t.v. show I discovered has started me thinking. It's called, "House Husbands of Hollywood." A bunch of couples in Hollywood, who happen to have the wife as the main bread winner at the moment, agreed to let the cameras of the Reality Channel follow them. One couple includes a former baseball player and a make-up artist, another includes a former Cosby kid and the spin off, "A Different World," I think it was called star. The other couples include actors, lawyers and talk show hosts. They're all mostly engaging, entertaining people to watch. I chose to watch episodes of it over reruns of shows I've seen a million times. I was interested in seeing how this idea of role reversal played out.
I don't feel like I saw anything very surprising. I can't say if that has to do with my age. I feel like I grew up in a generation where I was told girls could do anything and that roles didn't have to be set. Or if it is more of a personality thing. I'm kind of stubborn and don't like to be told how things are supposed to be, I will want to do the opposite. Or if society has really changed enough that it shouldn't be a surprise that people decide what's best for them as a couple and the rest of us don't care. Who knows? The point is it made me think about a discussion I often have at my house and hear about between men and women. Which job is actually harder? Can the two rolls actually be compared? And what really happens when both people work AND supposedly take care of the house?
Whether it is the man or the woman who stays home and their spouse works, it seems the two sides can never see the others' perspective.
I've often thought that it would be more interesting to follow a couple such as my husband and me. Not because I want to be on t.v. (my house would embarrass me too much and I would mortify Mike with my honesty too much), but a couple who do both jobs, work full time and take care of the household chores, routines and needs. Not just any jobs though, I think what makes us so unique is that we do the exact same job everyday. I think somebody should follow around couples with the same full time jobs. This would eliminate some of unknowns of understanding each others' perspectives. When the couple gets home they KNOW first hand what the other person's day was like, no guessing, or sympathizing , just understanding. I think this would be a much more interesting, eye opening series.
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