As August comes to a close and the school year zooms towards me, I find myself once again awake during the wee hours of the morning. Why can’t I sleep? Sleep eludes me because my brain is much to busy. There are too many things to contemplate: lesson plans, seat arrangements, kids clothes to buy, new tattoo ideas, money and where, oh where, did the summer go? I will soon be greeting my new students, in a new classroom, in a new grade. (I am not feeling stressed, I am not feeling stressed.) As I greet this new batch of youngster and get to know them, the first topic of conversations typical begins with, “What did you do this summer?” So to calm and focus my mind I will give my report on what I did this summer.
I worked three days a week tutoring students in math and reading. I enjoyed the opportunity to work one on one with kids and focus on their needs. It’s a nice change and helpful perspective to experience after working with 20-24 students the rest of the year. Also, I’m a teacher, therefore I need the extra income. I spent many hours each of those three days a week planning tutoring lessons. The other extra hours I found myself at school I used to move into a new classroom and become familiar with Class II. I’ll be teaching second grade for the first time this year and there is a lot to learn.
I spent MANY nights this summer having “School Dreams.” These are common for teachers to experience. However, my dreams started in June. In my dreams I’d often show up for work and it was the first day of school. School had started earlier than I expected and my classroom wasn’t ready. Other nights they’d rearrange the building plans, change my room on me and I couldn’t find it. One dream had me cramming a bedroom into a corner of my classroom, like a college dormitory, where I was expected to live throughout the school year. I then also had to fit my normal classroom full of books, desks and shelves into the same space. They moved the offices into busy hallway spaces and I trashed their cubicles out of anger. Changing grades and classrooms has been a large part of my dreams. My dreams rarely strayed to the norm where I frequently spend time yelling at three particular in-laws.
I went to some fun concerts this summer. I saw Michael Franti with my sisters. Concrete Blonde and Carlos Cornia with Mike and his siblings. Kings of Leon with a whole bunch of family, including my teenagers. I enjoyed each of these concerts and wish I had more money to go to more concerts. We were supposed to see U2 twice, but Bono got hurt and they rescheduled. Live music was a highlight o my summer.
I made a deal with my 13 year old daughter. I love to embarrass her. I tease, but I’m also very frank and ask lots of questions. I tease that I’m the “after school special” mom. Sex, drugs, rock and roll, no topic do I avoid. I want to be honest and talk about the pros and cons of temptations and choices she’ll have to make. Then I want her to make smart, hopefully logical decisions. Finally one day as she was brushing me off with her, “Okay, okay, I know, I know. Mom please stop talking.”
I said this to her, “I’ll bargain with you. You can annoy me with your ‘Please, please,’ begging and your ‘ It’s not fair’ pouting, and I can embarrass you all I want.” She gets to be annoying, I get to be embarrassing. Mostly it’s worked.
I went to my 20 Year High School Reunion. I’m one of those people who gets excited for these things. I like people and facebook has made it even more exciting to see people you talk to often. Of course, instead of losing 50 lbs. like most people do for these types of things, I gained 50 lbs., but that’s life. I still loved seeing people. Especially people who hadn’t been there 10 years ago. I had the best time talking to a guy who remembered me better than I remembered him, but he was the most fun to talk to. A good friend and on again off again boyfriend throughout high school had seemed to drop off the face of the earth, then suddenly he was there to see again. I had a blast and wished I had more time to talk to more people. Unfortunately, I didn’t want to make my ride stay up too late. It made me think 10 years is way too long. More people remembered me than I thought would. I’ve changed a lot, it was fun to see people’s reactions.
After my high school reunion we had a family reunion of sorts. It didn’t go very well, and unfortunately, how poorly it ended up was not a surprise to me. It was tiring, took a lot of avoiding, watching what I said and trying to buffer people. It was survival mode week for my family. Feelings were hurt, offenses were taken, but I really don’t know how it could be avoided. There are many perspectives and I don’t know how they’re ever going to coincide. Looking back I think my wish is that more people would have stood up for themselves and each other. I just worried about the consequence of how my actions would effect others. It was complicated and remains so.
I didn’t write any books this summer. I’m a little disappointed. I just didn’t seem to have time. I didn’t blog much either. Again the time seem to slip away. One of my favorite and most powerful experiences of the summer was a writing opportunity with my sisters. I am so proud, overwhelmed, and grateful for the experience. It was truly and important event in my life. We wrote a five part series telling our individual experiences with my dad’s cancer and death. I think it was excellent writing and unique in the view from five different perspectives. If you haven’t read it check out early blog post here @http://meremayjohn.blogspot.com/ or my sister’s blog http://www.theinquisitivemom.blogspot.com/. I’ve been amazed at people’s reactions and it was a great bonding moment before the later storm of the family reunion.
Well, now that I’ve gotten a lot off my chest, maybe I can go to sleep. If I could just stop imagining and designing the two tattoo ideas I have in my head. I sketched a little bit. Also, my family (hubby) will not be thrilled that I’m obsessing over these sudden creative urges that I can seem to stop planning.
Wow. That was one full summer. So glad we got to see each other. I wish we could have had more time with less stress and less sickness. But I loved those nights staying up late and talking. Like I told Mike, seeing him is always like being with my big brother and it's always a blast to see you. Family is complicated, but it meant alot to see everyone. I've been thinking about the family series a lot and there are definitely other topics we could do. They don't all need to be serious either. Love you!
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