Parent/ Teacher conferences were at the end of last month and like always they’ve caused me to ponder teaching and parenting. I just haven’t had anytime to sit down and write. First, I often describe Parent/Teacher conferences as the moment when all becomes clear. Every idiom, saying, or phrase ever quipped about the parent/child relationship is proved. As a teacher, meeting parents often leads to an “Ah ha!” silently being shouted in my head. Meeting with teachers as a parent I know I reveal a lot about my own children.
When I receive an e-mail at 9 pm, the night of conferences, from a parent asking, “What time am I scheduled for tomorrow?” And my reply is, “You were scheduled for 5 pm tonight.” The phrase “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” comes to mind. That’s the parent I needed to discuss time management issues with.
As I’m conferencing with one of my daughter’s teachers I catch myself bouncing my knee, resting elbows on knees and then leaning back. I’m unable to sit still for the ten minute meeting. I’m sure that teacher is thinking, “Like mother, like daughter.”
Sometimes during a conference a parent keeps interrupting me with questions I’m about to address. Occasionally one will be so distracted by the stain on their shirt that they keep asking me the same questions. This is when I know “it runs in the family.”
If we’re conferencing with one of my son’s teachers and my husband accidently corrects the teacher’s grammar, I sometimes catch a smirk or a nod. They’re probably pondering the phrase, “a chip off the old block.”
While on a teacher site I came across this quote:
“The problem with children is that you have to put up with their parents.” ~Charles DeLint
Having been on both sides of the conference table, dealing with problem parents and periodically being a problem parent, I know this is too often true. Luckily this doesn’t lessen the joy I get from my job or from being a proud, protective parent. It just makes me want to say something I’ve probably said a hundred times. I just wish I could make parent’s understand that I care about their kids. If I bring up a problem it’s because I want their child to have the best experience, be the best learner and do their best as much as they do. Issues and problems are roadblocks to a student’s learning and I want to figure out how to get rid of them or go around them. I often hear people say teachers just want kids to sit still and be quiet. I don’t want them to sit like zombies, silent and wiggle free. If a student was acting like that I’d be calling their parents concerned.
Like any profession, teaching has its share of bad apples, but most teachers I know feel the same as I do. We care about our students and what we want the most is for each of our students to succeed as a learner.
The other event that had me full of thoughts has to do with my toddler. Recently I was filling out forms for preschool next year. One of the questions asked me to describe my child’s strengths. I could do that, like most folks I like enjoy bragging about my kids. It’s the next question that started me thinking, what did I think were areas my child needed improvement in? Hmm. My toddler is the youngest by a LARGE gap. He is around big people all the time. Occasionally he gets too much attention, while at other moments he gets forgotten about. He can be somewhat demanding and a little bossy. Also, I felt the need to apologize ahead of time, because he is around so many adults and teenagers he might hear or know things he shouldn’t. He has great communication skills and so I worry that he’ll be the kid who tells about things or uses words the other kid’s parents don’t want them to know yet. Basically, his weaknesses are that he’s the youngest and sometimes I’m a lazy parent.
As I was rereading my comments I thought of this quote I read the other day:
“A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he's always apologizing, his children are monsters.”
~Mignon McLaughlin
Oops! My toddler’s not a monster, but I sure apologize for him a lot. I have been since I found out I was pregnant. I apologized to my teenagers when I informed them about their new sibling. I told them sorry, but Hewson will get things and do things you never got. He’s so much younger that he’ll have us to himself and we’ll get old and lazier. I felt it best to warn them.
I apologized to the babysitter. I was sorry was stubborn and demanding. At home he doesn’t have to share his toys often because his siblings are so much older. He watches too much t.v. because his parents are so tired when we get home.
I guess I’m just a preventative apologizer. He’s really a pretty normal kid. I just know my faults. Also, it’s like the babysitter says, “He’s just so darn cute.” Good thing, I think some days. So, my hope is that between his cuteness and my preventative apologizing he won’t turn out to be a monster.
